Harry Potter and The Curse of The Stickpeople
by xNightcatx
Summary: Ever wonder what lurks in the forbidden forest? The Marauders know, of course, and so does Dumbledore. But what happens when something from the Forest leans into conquering the world? Prepare for chaos & havoc, at hands of the trio AND the Marauders! R
1. A Dark and Stormy Night

**A/N: Well, I always thought Stickfigures were weird. Well not really. But in this story, I do think they're even EVIL. From time to time, I'll be making comments and they'll appear in italics between ( )'s. Please Read and Review. And the most important thing of all: ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HP, but I do control the Stickpeople! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh and, No, No teacher/student hook-up, it's all just good humor. Proceed to the story carefully.**

* * *

**Chapter 1:**

**A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT...WHEN SNAPE'S DIRTY BOXERS AND GREASY SHOWERCAP LAY ON THE ENTRANCE HALL**

I am sure you found nothing else to read, for you're looking at a very, very, very weird story. My name will not be revealed, and so, you will all know me as the Author, or as _XnightcatX_. I can not reveal to you my name, for it would mean doom for us all.

I sit here, in a dark room, accompanied by my dear teddy bear cat, Taiwiny Sirius Remus King. I sit here in front of this computer, typing the horrible reality we live in. I am scared, my hands are shaking...my heart is beating fast, and- I'm hungry...(_foodmunchmunchfood)_

Okay, as I was saying...

I have a story to tell, and I hope you can all endure this cruel reality. What I will say, is, _BEWARE OF THE STICKPEOPLE!_

Thus our story begins. Well, it's more mine than yours. You're only reading it. Ehem...

Every HP story starts with "_Harry Potter was an unusual kid"_ or something like that. Well, not this one. This story starts like this, because that's how I want to begin it, and you can't do a thing about it, so I suggest you just sit back, shut up, and _read_.

It was a dark and stormy night...Okay so it was a bright jolly sunny day! So sue me! The point is, the _real_ story begins at night. When it's stormy. When it's dark. But let's just do a brief paragraph about what happened that bright sunny day.

Cody Branagh (_Greetings if there's a real person called Cody Branagh. Hi!)_ was a normal wizard, who attended Hogwarts and was currently in his 2nd year. Ok, I'm sensing some people clicking out of this story and going to another one...why! This story **IS** about Harry Potter! I just need to give a brief explanation about Cody Branagh! Okay let's go back now. Ehem...

Cody Branagh was attending his 2nd year at Hogwarts. He was just like everybody else. He attended classes, did his homework, ate his meals, laughed with friends, hang out, he was pretty boring-normal. He also knew Harry Potter assisted the same school as he did, and he was in 5th year now.

It was a bright sunny day, and Cody Branagh had gone out to the grounds to do his homework. Unfortunately, his books had been jinxed by a 4th year Slytherin who thought it amusing to watch the boy's books run away. But Cody Branagh was determined to catch them and finish his Transfiguration homework before dinner. And so, Cody Branagh chased his books, all the way into the Forbidden Forest...

Harry Potter was just walking around the halls. He was looking for his friend Ron Weasley who had been dragged away to patrol the hallways with Hermione Granger. The bright sunny day had turned into a dark and stormy night just after dinner. He was just going down the 6th floor staircase when he found Luna Lovegood. She smiled at him and joined him in his lonely walk.

"My dad just sent me this" she held out a green glass-leaf amulet in front of Harry's nose.

"What's it for?" asked Harry.

"Oh- it's to ward off the _Stickpeople_" she whispered fearful.

"Is it?" Harry looked more interested in the little amulet now.

"Do you believe in the stickpeople?" she asked him.

"Of course he doesn't" a voice answered from behind them.

Harry wheeled around to find his friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger standing behind him.

"Honestly" Hermione continued, walking towards Luna "Harry doesn't believe in those stories. Stickpeople, really! That is just so far-fetched!"

Luna gave her a dirty look, before she gave Harry an amulet just like hers. "Just in case. I won't give any to _her,_ though" she gave Ron one too "Let the Stickpeople take her captive, for her skepticism. But let me tell you..._the Stickpeople have no mercy!_" her eyes grew big in a dramatic way, before waving good-bye to them and going off her merry way.

"Whatever" said Hermione, not minding her. "Oh, Ron we must go patrol the DADA hall! What if Professor Lupin were to be attacked by a Slytherin! Come on"

"Er- no thanks" said Ron, moving away from her. "I'm just going to patrol the Entrance Hall with Harry..."

"Oh. Okay" Hermione wheeled around, and _skipped_ to the DADA hall.

Ron frowned in puzzlement. "I dunno what's she so happy about. Sure, we're all glad Lupin's back but- man she's just _over_-happy. Anyways, come on"

And so, Harry and Ron set out for the Entrance hall, talking about Quidditch and the Chudley Cannons, then the weather, then _Quidditch _in stormy weather. Yes, big Quidditch fans, aren't they?

Truth was, Hermione had a big crush on Professor Lupin _ever_ since he taught in their 3rd year. And now he was back, and she was just overjoyed that her loving werewolf was near her again. But no one knew about it, _no one_.

"Wait, I gotta take a leak" Ron hurried down the hall, and disappeared through the door of the Boy's Bathroom.

Harry heaved a heavy sigh and continued to walk to the Entrance Hall. That's where he saw something that sank his heart low in his stomach, and made him go pale. The sight was provoking him vomit, and urging his mind to erase that snapshot his photographic memory had taken. I-it was terrible! It was horrible! It was- _Snape's dirty boxers and his greasy showercap..._

Harry quickly trotted down the stairs to get away from the horror, the hideous items! That's when he found something else lying on the floor.

It was Cody Branagh. He was heavily slithering towards the staircase. His clothes were ragged, bloody, and he had many bruises. Blood oozed from his nose, and he held out in his fist a soaked piece of paper. Harry gaped, before snapping to his senses and hurrying over towards him. Cody's lips parted to speak, and Harry leaned, ready to hear whatever he wanted to say.

MEANWHILE...

Hermione continued her jolly happy skipping down the DADA hall. She was _grinning_. She'd only had gone to talk to Harry because Ron hadn't noticed him. She knew that Ron wouldn't be so keen as to patrol with her again, and would choose to go away with Harry, leaving her open to patrol the DADA hall _alone. Alone_ with Professor Lupin. _My goodness, I'm so smart!_ she thought, grinning that her plan had worked.

A door opened.

Hermione held her breath as she saw who it was. Her heart skipped a beat, and her face shined. It was her beloved Lupin!

Oh no- she was _blushing_. Luckily for her, she was the smartest girl and had performed a spell so it wouldn't show. _I'm truly a genius!_ she laughed mentally.

A shame her hair was so bushy. Ah well, that's what made her adorable, right? (_Er- riiiiight. Geesh, such a self-centered girl)_. Hermione adjusted her robes, and continued walking as if she hadn't noticed him come out.

Professor Lupin then noticed her. "Hermione, what are you doing at this time of night?"

_Hoping to see you, darling_ "I'm just patrolling the halls" she smiled at him.

"And where's Ron?"

_Talking about Quidditch with Harry in the dungeons, I hope_ "Patrolling the Entrance Hall with Harry" _but enough talk about **them** We're alone, **all alone**. _"Was my Essay good enough?" she asked timidly.

"Of course" smiled Lupin "I hardly find anything wrong with them. I don't think I ever have"

Hermione was ready to melt. _Ah that smile. Those eyes...I wish I had some illness that made me black out so I could faint into his arms..._

"I better get going" said Professor Lupin "Have a good night"

"Right. Good-bye" she made to walk back up the hall, as he walked down it. She watched him leave, a sly smile on her lips _Bye, wolf-boy..._ "Oof" she fanned herself, biting her lip as she turned the corner to patrol the Charms Hall. "Wolf on fire, baby!"

XX

"Speak!" Harry urged the wounded Cody Branagh, "What happened to you!"

Cody only managed to say something...

"_Beware...of the Stick-people"_

Harry blinked.

But Cody said no more, or gave any explanation, for he blacked out.

"Speak!" Harry shook him, but there was no answer from him.

The _Stickpeople,_ he had said...The _Stickpeople_ had done this to him...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Harry stopped, and frowned. "Why am I so worked out about it? I don't even know him" he pushed Cody Branagh away, before taking the piece of wet paper and studied it.

It was a drawing, a _stick figure_.

Harry gasped. Many words threaded around his mind, but only 3 made their way to his mouth "Luna was right!"

Harry ran away, feeling that if Snape's disgusting boxers and greasy showercap (Harry shuddered) were there, Snape might be near and Harry didn't need to be blamed for this. He forgot about Ron, and that he wasn't supposed to be out, unless he was with a teacher or a Prefect. But he ran, he ran to Dumbledore's office with the only thought of what that boy had said. _Beware of the Stickpeople_.

XX

Ron trotted to the Entrance Hall now, relieved. He saw no sign of Harry, but of something he _certainly _didn't want to see. He rushed to the side of the stairs to heave his dinner, when he saw what lay there. A boy!

Ron was about to prod the boy to see if he was alive or not, when he heard quick sharp steps coming near. Ron looked down at the boy again, who now squinted at him.

"Holy crap!" Ron said to himself "I'm gonna get blamed for this!" He darted away as fast as he could, to the Charms Hall to create an alibi. He was _not _going to get blamed for whatever had happened to that boy.

Poor Cody Branagh, he had to stay there, and stare at the monstrosities that were Snape's dirty boxers and greasy showercap. If he could speak at this moment, what he'd say would be, "JUST KILL ME!" and we wouldn't blame him, for looking at Snape's dirty horrendous boxers and greasy showercap would make anyone wish death.

XX

And Harry ran, fast and furious (_ok, that was a bad movie pun. I'll stop them before I become too dorky). _He only stopped when he saw the ugly Gargoyle. He gave it the password, and-

XX

RON ran, until he reached the Charms Hall, but he continued running. He looked over his shoulder, trying to make sure Snape wasn't following him, but he should've actually looked where he was going, for he crashed against someone.

Ron looked at the face of the unfortunate person he had crashed into. It was none other than Hermione Granger. Ron blushed. They were in a most compromising posture he couldn't believe it.

"Ron?" she asked.

"Oh- Mione" groaned Ron, panting.

"_Ehem"_

They turned heads, finding none other than Professor Lupin standing at the other end of the hall.

"Professor!" Hermione violently pushed Ron off her by elbowing and kneeing him accidentally in where the sun don't shine, and quickly got up, fixing her robes.

"I think you two should just turn in for the night" He looked quite bewildered.

Hermione was thinking of so many excuses so he wouldn't think what he was thinking, for it was all wrong. But all she could do was stutter nonsense. "I-I-I- n-n-no- eh- H-he- I-"

But Professor Lupin just looked away and hurriedly left the hall.

Hermione could see it was too late to tell him that he had it all wrong, that they had just crashed. Infuriated, she turned to Ron, who was still holding his privates, busying himself with breathing evenly to make the pain go away.

"Stupid idiot!" she shouted at him, before going to the nearest wall and _banging_ her head on it, embarrassment had gone to the highest level she could endure.

Ron observed her, pain forgotten. "Er- Hermione? You-you _do_ know that the walls are made of- _stone_, right?"

Hermione didn't stop or acknowledged him.

Ron could only flinch every time Hermione's forehead collided with the stone wall. He couldn't say anything, he couldn't stop her, he could only watch in horror and amazement.

XX

The Gargoyle moved aside to not only reveal the staircase, but the one and only Professor Albus Dumbledore.

"Professor!" Harry panted _(haha, pants, haha. Hilarious! Fine, okay, I'll shut up now) _

"What's wrong, Harry?" he looked bewildered _(man, everybody's been bewildered lately!)_

"The Stickpeople!" Harry cried out "They're real! And they attacked a student!"

Harry was ready to see Dumbledore laugh at this, and demand proof that they indeed existed. But he didn't, and instead, he sent an owl to someone named Lee King, and then asked Harry to take him to the wounded student.

XX

Ron saw Hermione hit her forehead for a 3rd time, and then a 4th, before she hit the floor instead, unconscious.

Ron gaped, before he came to his senses. "Holy crap, they're gonna blame me for this too!" he also hit the floor, running. _Time to create another alibi..._

* * *

**A/N: Well, end of the first chapter! Plz review! I'll give chocolate cake and "Sirius Lives" pens for all of those who review!**


	2. Hermione Wrong!

**A/N: I know they're short chapters, but hey, I'm having fun! Plz Read and Review and don't mind any randomness that could happen because sometimes I feel like writing so many stupid funny comments, and other times I feel like I just want to go straight to the story. A big hello to Lunins! And I'm thinking of joining an unexistent organization that I will call "AFUARI", which stands for "Association For Unorganized And Random Idiots" and our mascot will be the Funny Monkey! Yay! claps Ok, looong story about it, so don't ask.**

**Disclaimer: Do you want me to own HP? Cause if you do, start a petition! )**

* * *

Chapter 2:  
Hermione Wrong!

Let's cut time short here...

Cody Branagh was hospitalized, Snape recovered his ugly dirty boxers and showercap (_thank goodness, now no one has to see them!)_. Dumbledore urged the students to stay in their common rooms. Lupin kept avoiding Hermione, much because Ron stayed close to her after that little accident with the wall. Sirius was enjoying the life since a spy had reported to the Ministry. Harry wanted to know who the heck was Lee King but Dumbledore wouldn't tell him. Harry told his friends about the little incident, and they too were interested in knowing who Lee King was.

"I bet Lee's a really cool guy who will haunt the Stickpeople down!" said Ron. "And plays Quidditch!"

"Now really, Ronald" Hermione rolled her eyes. She'd been calling him Ronald ever since Lupin caught them in the Charms Hall. "He might not be like that. Maybe he's an Auror who will protect the students from Voldemort"

"Forget Voldemort" said Harry "The Stickpeople are a worse threat!"

"The Stickpeople don't exist!"

"Yes, they do!" said both Ron and Harry.

"Hermione, look at what they did to poor Cory Bawnagh" said Harry

"Cody" said Ron

"Eh?" Harry turned to him.

"His name's really Cody" said Ron "Cody Branagh"

"Oh- well...the point is," Harry looked away "is that the Stickpeople do exist!"

"Rubbish" insisted Hermione.

"Am I hearing right?" a misty voice spoke up.

They turned heads, and saw Luna Lovegood approach them. "A student was attacked by the Stickpeople?"

"yeah" said Ron

Luna gaped, before slowly turning to Hermione and- "I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU!" she danced around "HA-HA! I TOLD YOU! I WAS RIGHT AND YOU WERE WRONG!" she said in a sing-song voice. "LOVEGOOD WAS RIGHT, GRANGER WAS WRONG!"

A crowd had gathered, and sang with Luna, "LOVEGOOD WAS RIGHT, GRANGER WAS WRONG!"

Hermione scowled. Meanwhile, Harry and Ron did nothing to stop it. Hermione being wrong was a first, and they didn't think it good to stop their little Victory dance. In fact, they were enjoying the fact that Hermione had been wrong, and LUNA had been right.

"LOVEGOOD WAS RIGHT, GRANGER WAS WRONG! LOVEGOOD WAS RIGHT, GRANGER WAS WRONG! LOVEGOOD WAS RIGHT, GRANGER WAS WRONG!"

"What's going on here?"

Hermione froze. That voice...

"Nothing Professor," said Dean. The crowd mumbled and cleared away.

"I WAS RIGHT, GRANGER WAS WRONG!" Luna shouted happily.

"Stop that, Luna!" said Hermione

"Granger was wrong?" repeated Lupin, taken aback.

Hermione's mouth fell wide open. She thought he'd defend her, be her Prince Charming and take her away from this snake-pit but instead, he asked "She was wrong? How?"

"Well, you see" started Harry "Luna said that Stickpeople were real, Hermione said she was wrong, and Cory Brunagh-"

"Cody, Cody Branagh" muttered Ron helpfully.

"Right, Cody." continued Harry "Cody was attacked by the Stickpeople, and Dumbledore contacted some guy named Lee King-"

"_Lee King_?" repeated Lupin breathlessly, his eyes going wide. "Good lord..." he looked beyond shocked.

"You know him?" asked Harry very interested.

"I-" Lupin was lost, they saw that. "Lee...Lee...That's..." suddenly, he seemed to snap out of a trance "Er- I suggest you guys go back to your Common room. Luna, go back to yours." He wheeled around and walked slowly towards the Teacher's Lounge.

"You don't think he really knows Lee King" said Hermione, crestfallen. Her wonderful wolf hadn't saved her from Luna's taunts. (Luna was walking to her Common Room while singing under her breath the same thing over and over again).

The trio watched Lupin walk away.

"Lee King's BACK!" To their surprise, the werewolf had leaped into the air with enthusiasm. "now THAT'S what I'm talking about!"

The threesome could only gape at their Marauder Professor. They'd _never_ seen him act this happy. Or youthful.

"Apparently," Ron broke the silence "he does know Lee King"

"I'm guessing he won't tell us _who_ is Lee King" said Harry "So, if Remus knows who Lee King is, I bet you my Firebolt that Sirius does too."

"Let's go write to him!" Ron pushed him towards the Gryffindor Tower.

"Boys" growled Hermione plainly annoyed.

It had been just an hour since Harry had written a letter to Sirius asking who was Lee King, when he received an answer.

"Well, that was fast" commented Ron "open it!"

Harry opened the letter, and- only gaped at the contents.

"_Lee King! THE Lee King!_

_I'M COMING OVER, HARRY!"_

"What's so special about this Lee King?" asked Hermione, who, along with Ron, had read the letter from over Harry's shoulder.

"He might be a really cool guy if Sirius wants to come over" said Harry

"A guy who plays Quidditch!" Ron piped in.

"For the last time, Ron!" Hermione strangled him "HE'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR STUPID QUIDDITCH OBSESSION!"

"HERMIONE, GET YOUR OWN BROTHER TO STRANGLE" A redheaded girl pushed Hermione away. "Just cause _you _don't like Quidditch, doesn't mean Ron should suffer. And I got the news..." she smiled slyly.

"What news?" asked Hermione

"LOVEGOOD WAS RIGHT! GRANGER WAS WRONG!" Ginny danced around.

"Harry, do something!" Hermione pleaded.

Harry only hurried towards the Boy's dormitory "Sorry, I have a letter to write!"

"NO YOU DON'T!" Hermione scowled, while Ginny continued to shout out and to dance around.

We don't have time to feel sorry for Hermione _(and I personally don't feel sorry for her)_, because a very frightened Professor McGonagall burst into the Common Room.

McGonagall opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't, having froze in fear. Hermione came over to her and shook her. "Calm down, Professor! What's wrong?"

"_Calm down!_" bellowed McGonagall, clearly going hysterical "Screw that! There's been an attack here at Hogwarts! The Stickpeople attacked another student!"

There were gasps and yelps from the girls, murmurs buzzed as many paled. "And Cory Bunagh-"

"You mean Cody" said Hermione "Cody Branagh"

"Yea- whatever" McGonagall waved that away "He was attacked again!" she shook Hermione "The Stickpeople know no mercy! We're all DOOMED!"

Hermione didn't think twice; she swung her hand and-

SLAP.

"Pull yourself together, woman!" Hermione told the astounded McGonagall "The Stickpeople aren't real! They're just some stupid story made up by the Quibbler, and we all know who's daddy owns the Quibbler. Luna Lovegood's just being stupid. And you all are by believing her! The Stickpeople don't exist!"

"When will you learn to accept the truth, Hermione?" Ron stepped up "Face it, Mione. You were _wrong_. WRONG. W-R-O-N-G"

"I'm never wrong!" Hermione stomped her foot. "Never!"

"WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO MAKE YOU SEE YOU _ARE_ WRONG!"

"STOP YELLING AT ME, RON!"

"WELL STOP BEING AN IDIOT, AND ADMIT YOU WERE WRONG!"

"GRANGER" McGonagall seemed to be back to normal "That's 20 points from Gryffindor for slapping a teacher! And 5 more for not admitting you were wrong. THE STICKPEOPLE _DO_ EXIST!" with that, she rushed out of Gryffindor Tower, still shouting out about the Stickpeople.

Hermione stomped her foot again, gave a shriek of anger and marched off to the Girl's Dormitory, muttering curses and insults that would make any sailor blush. Maybe even a pirate.

A girl bumped into Hermione, "Oh, sorry, wait- I'm not."

Hermione looked up. She'd never seen the girl before, even if she was her age. She wore muggle clothes, had dark hair and carried a pen and a notebook.

"Who're you?" asked Hermione.

"I'm...hmm, tough question" she said "Just call me Nightcat"

"What, another Marauder?" Hermione rolled her eyes "Not a very creative one, though."

"Hey!" snapped Nightcat "Shut your piehole or I'll make your life miserable! Again!"

"What-"

"Stop talking for a second, will ya?" interrupted Nightcat "I need to know where the following people are. Harry, Ron, Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black"

"Harry in the dorms, Ron downstairs" Hermione said in a bored voice "Remsi-er-Professor Lupin in his office, and Sirius Black, on his way to Hogwarts."

"Alright. Now, next time," said Nightcat "Be nicer to me. I'm the author of this story, if you didn't know. So if you aren't nicer to me, I'll make the Stickpeople attack you next"

Hermione bit her tongue, desiring to shout out that Stickpeople weren't real. But she can't argue with the author! So she had to burn of anger and continue her way to the Girl's dorm. Meanwhile, the author skipped down to kiss everyone in her list! And to congratulate Luna Lovegood.

Nightcat had her arms around Ron, but turned and spoke to the empty space "End of this Chapter. Go away!"

And then-

End of the chapter.

**A/N: heheh. Ok, plz Read and Review! R-E-V-I-E-W! Are you in favor of Luna, or in favor of Hermione? If you think Luna is right, send me your review with this word: CHOCOLATE! If you think Hermione is right, send me your review with this word: MUSTARD (F.Y.I: I don't like mustard, and I like chocolate alot)**

**Ok, bye-bye now!**


	3. What's The Deal With Lee King?

**A/N: Holy Cow! I really have to do better in spell-checking and proof-reading my chapters. I do take pride in my good spelling, but sometimes some word slips up. Ok, hopefully, this one's better, and again, I'm sorry for the shortness of the chapter, but I really hope you'll enjoy it. I'm working on the last half of chapter 4 and working my way up to chapter 5. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own them! Now stop thinking I do or I'll send the Stickpeople after you!**

* * *

Chapter 3:  
What's the deal with Lee King? 

The entire school was now nervous. There'd been 2 attacks now! And in Hogwarts! This was way worse than the basilisk, and Harry felt that he wouldn't be able to defeat these enemies. They also found out that Snape's dirty boxers and greasy showercap had been stolen by the Stickpeople to torture the students. So yes, they were _truly_ evil! Hell didn't want them near! Hades flee before them! And- the author had complete control over them...

Cory Brownah-

"Cody" muttered Ron, "Cody Branagh"

Oh- right. Thanks Ron! winks at him. Cody Branagh had decided to go home, after his 2nd attack. He wouldn't speak, and when he tried to say something, he could only say "_beware! Beware..."_. So his parents took him home, but not before he was attacked again! Poor Cody was caught off guard as he made his way towards the gates, when the Stickpeople attacked.

Meanwhile, Harry was also attacked, but by something far more hyper and good.

"_Lee King, Lee King, Lee!"_

Harry was tackled down by a blur of black fur.

"_Where's Lee? I'm here now! Where's Lee?_"

"Padfoot?" Harry sat up.

The black dog leaped happily. "_Where's Lee? Where's Lee?"_

"Wait a minute- I can understand you!" Harry gasped.

"_Big duh, I wouldn't be asking you Where Lee was if I didn't know you could"_

"But- how?" asked Harry.

"_Elves"_

"House-elves-"

"_No, you silly. Elves. Galatea. Tall, dark hair, blue eyes, nice curves-"_

"Okay, okay I get it" interrupted Harry.

"_Good, now, WHERE'S LEE!_"

"I don't know where Lee King is!" snapped Harry "What is he- related to Stephen King, or something? Is he a writer? Friend of the author, maybe?"

"_No, nothing of that_"

"Then, will you tell me who Lee King is?" asked Harry

"_I'll tell you then."_ said Padfoot "_Lee King is-..."_ he stopped, and sniffed the air "_I smell...I smell...PLEASE BE KING, PLEASE BE KING!" _He scrambled away from Harry and ran down the hall like a wild puppy.

"SOMEONE'S COMING, SOMEONE'S COMING!" Many students ran to nearby windows or went all the way down to the Entrance Hall to see the newcomer.

Harry scrambled to his feet and joined Hermione and Ron at the Entrance Hall.

They could see a black motorbike coming to the castle. In blue smoky letters read "King". The rider was in black leather, a black helmet concealing its face.

"It's Lee King!" the students murmured enthusiastically. "It's really him!" many girls were fanning themselves by now. "Look how cool he is!"

The motorbike parked in front of them, and Lee King took off his helmet. A luxurious curtain of black hair fell down to his shoulders. The jacket also was cast off, and, to the amazement of all, they saw that Lee King was-

"_A girl!"_

Many guys didn't stay behind, and started to wolf-whistle, as the girls gaped, seeing that their Prince Charming was a _woman_.

Harry and Ron were also astounded; and Harry now figured why Remus and Sirius were so eager to see Lee King. _Whoa, hot!_

Lee King walked into the castle, ignoring the students. She walked up the Great Staircase, towards Dumbledore's office.

"I guess you were wrong" grinned Hermione "It wasn't a guy, but a _girl_. Ha!" she skipped away, happy.

"SO WHAT, I'VE BEEN WRONG AT LEAST TWICE IN MY LIFE, AND I ADMIT IT, BUT YOU WON'T!" Ron shouted after her.

"_LOVEGOOD WAS RIGHT, GRANGER WAS WRONG,_" a chorus broke out "_LOVEGOOD WAS RIGHT, GRANGER WAS WRONG. LOVEGOOD WAS RIGHT, GRANGER WAS WRONG_"

Hermione shrieked in anger and headed to the stairs.

XX

Lee King was heading to Dumbledore's office, when he noticed someone standing alone in the Charms Hall. She smiled.

X(_Just so you know, it's gonna get better and better with Hermione and our dear werewolf! winkwink)_X

Hermione was muttering insults and curses under her breath, as she marched angrily into the Charms Hall, when she noticed who was there. She stood by the corner, and watched. It was that Lee King and her beloved Lupin.

They were smiling, and- Lupin had a rose in his hand.

"Well, well" said Lee, walking over to Lupin. "Look who's here. Wolf-boy"

"Your one and only" smiled Lupin, holding out the rose.

"You missed me?" she took the rose, and put her arm around his neck.

They were so close that it made Hermione uncomfortable.

"You know I did" answered Lupin.

Lee smiled and hugged him. But not before doing something that made Hermione's blood boil. She also _kissed _him. It was a quick kiss on the lips, but for Hermione, it was a long, torturing, passionate kiss. THE kiss she'd day-dreamed, THE kiss that should be hers. The anger was so big, that it brought waterworks. Hermione ran away, entered the Girl's bathroom, and cried her eyes out.

It was about a half an hour later when Hermione emerged from the bathroom, eyes red. She slowly walked to the Gryffindor Tower, but not before she caught sight of someone.

It was Lee King again, but she was now with Sirius in the Transfiguration Hall.

"Well, look who we have here" Sirius was saying.

"I say the same" Lee crossed her arms. "Aren't you gonna say at least 'Hello'?"

Sirius grinned. "I'll do it; my style" He wrapped his arms around her, dipped her backwards with a flourish, and kissed her.

Hermione's mouth fell wide open as she watched in horror how they made-out. Lee was cheating on Remus! She was kissing Sirius and two-timing Hermione's beloved Professor!

Hermione wheeled around, ready to run to the bathroom and cry again, before she had an idea...

She'd tell Remus about this and he'd be so upset he'd dump Lee! And- he'd need moral support, so here was Hermione, ready to comfort him!

Hermione grinned evilly. Oh yeah, she was a HUGE genius. But now the question was: How to tell Lupin?

XX

Just during lunch, the Trio got a message. They were to go to Dumbledore's office.

And since nothing interesting happened on their way there, I'm just gonna go right to when they enter it.

They got a surprise, standing there with Dumbledore was Lee King. Before anyone could say anything, two more people entered the office. Sirius and Remus.

"Good, you guys are here" said Lee.

"Ms. King has requested to fetch you," explained Dumbledore "Because she wants you all to help her relieve the school of any threat"

"Okay, You guys will be my team" smiled Lee. "Tomorrow, at dawn, we start the hunt. Now, let's all go to lunch!" she proceeded to the door, and they followed. Except for Dumbledore, who had just been bombarded by twenty Owls from Lucius Malfoy, demanding his son to be Captain of the Quidditch Team.

At that very moment, a girl carrying a pen and notebook appeared in the office. "Don't worry, I'll make Lucius miserable for doing this."

Professor Dumbledore smiled. "Thank you. Now, what do I do with all these owls?"

The girl directed the birds out of the Office, and into Snape's office so he could be attacked by them. Then she disappeared.

Meanwhile, Lee was getting to know the gang.

"This is Harry, Ron, and Hermione" said Lupin.

"Oh, really?" said Lee "Is it really Harry?" she leaned closer to him to study him. "It can't really be him"

"It is" said Sirius.

Lee narrowed her eyes at Harry, and then tried to comb his hair with her fingers. It did no good, as it remained messy. Lee was pleased, and grinned.

"It is really James's son!" she said happily "Hello Harry"

"Hi" Harry smiled.

"Do you, in any case, play Quidditch?" asked Ron.

"Ronald, how many times do I have to say it?" Hermione rolled her eyes "Not all the people in the world are as obsessed as you are!"

"I do play Quidditch" answered Lee

Ron grinned, "WRONG AGAIN!" he said to Hermione.

She could only growl, not wanting to shout out words that would make a sailor blush and would shock her dear Remus.

They passed by the Hospital Wing, where Cody Branagh lay unconscious after his other attack, and had to stay there for two days before actually going home.

And for those who are wondering: classes were canceled after the first attack on a student, so they have nothing to do, but to stay in their Houses, or the Great Hall.

**A/N: Ok, it was short, no duh. But Plz Review! cookies to everyone who does review! I'm gonna count votes in chapter 4 of who agrees with Luna and who agrees with Hermione.**

**Ciao!**


	4. A Dark Closet

**A/N:**

**Hello to all! Okay, if you're reading up to this chapter, PLEASE REVIEW! PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE! DON'T BE SO LAZY AND PLEASE REVIEW! Tell me what you think of it! or just write LLAMA DUCK or ANYTHING, just as long as you actually REVIEW! PLEASE PEOPLE! REVIEW! Thank you, and this is only a 5-6 chapter fanfic, the end is almost here! Which means longer chapters!**

**And now, without further ado...Here's Chapter 4! Rater PG-13 :P**

Chapter 4:

A Dark Closet

Hermione was patrolling the halls alone that night, thinking and day-dreaming of how she'd comfort Remus after the news that his girlfriend (_If you call that idiot a girlfriend_, thought Hermione angrily) was cheating on him with his best friend, Sirius! Of course, Hermione didn't blame Lee for wanting something with Sirius, after all, he'd just turned up to be sooo handsome, but Hermione still preferred Remus.

It was when she was patrolling the DADA Hall when she heard the shriek, and a cry for help.

Hermione stopped dead, and ran to the direction of the scream, which was in the boy's bathroom. She went in, against her better instincts, and saw to her horror a _boy_ lying on the floor, bleeding and panting.

"Help me!" he said in a wheezy voice "I've been attacked!"

"I'll get help!" Hermione darted out the bathroom, and went for the nearest teacher office. Professor Lupin's.

"Help!" she banged on the door "Professor I need help!"

The door was opened, and Hermione was almost knocked off her feet. It was Lupin in a white t-shirt and red-brown pajama bottoms. She'd never seen him wearing that, and it somehow made him look hotter, in her opinion.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" asked Lupin, confusing her gaping expression as that of horror.

And Hermione snapped out of it "A boy! A boy has been attacked in the bathroom!" she pointed out the Bathroom down the hall.

"Wake Sirius and Lee," Lupin ran to the Bathroom barefoot "they're inside!"

Hermione entered the darkened Office, and carefully walked into the side-room. There was a four-poster-bed with the curtains drawn, so you couldn't see who was there. There was a couch against the wall, covers on the floor.

"Si-Sirius?" she asked timidly "Ms. Lee?"

Lee's head stuck out from the curtains. She squinted at her.

"What is it?" she asked.

"The Professor told me to wake you up" explained Hermione "Where's Sirius?"

Lee turned to someone who was there in the bed with her. "Oy, Si, Sirius, wake up"

There was a grunt. A yelp as Lee was pulled back. There was a slap, a whine, and Sirius's body rolled off and hit the floor. He wore a t-shirt and blue boxers. Lee took the water jug from the bedside table and splashed Sirius with some. He sat up and shifted around at once.

"Huh- Where's Snivellus?" he asked, waving what was an invisible wand "I'm ready" he stopped when he saw Hermione "Oh- Hi Hermione" he yawned, rubbing his eye "What's up?"

"Yea, what's going on?" Lee threw back the curtains and sat up on the bed, adjusting her black top.

"A student was attacked just now" said Lupin's voice, as he came into the room.

"Right" said Sirius "Well, just leave him to Pomfrey, tomorrow we can get the Slytherin who did it. Might've been Snivellus" he fell back, asleep.

Lee splashed him again, emptying the jar.

"What- I'm awake!" he yelped, sitting up.

"He was attacked by the Stickpeople" Remus told Lee.

Lee looked at him for a long moment. "What- they're inside Hogwarts now?" she swore silently "Hermione, better get the others. We're going hunting right now."

"I'll go with her" Remus offered "she might be attacked too"

"Yeah, do that." said Lee "I'll see this one wakes up" she pointed at Sirius who was lying on the floor asleep again.

_Yeah, right._ Hermione thought as she and Lupin hurried down the hall towards Gryffindor Tower. _She only wants time alone with Sirius. Well, I can't complain_ she grinned mentally _I got time alone with Remsie!_

"Better hurry" said Lupin (_**gah, can't decide whether to call him Remus or Lupin! Ah well, I'll use both then)**_ "They might want to attack again"

_Right now it would be a good time to trip and hurt my ankle_ thought Hermione, _that way, he'd have to carry me! _She squealed of joy in her mind (**_can you do that?)_.**

Suddenly, the lights flickered, and they heard a couple of tiny shrieks. Before she knew it, there was an arm wrapping around her waist, and pulled Hermione into a dark closet.

"Quiet!" whispered Remus.

She didn't need to be told to keep quiet, for she couldn't speak; Remus was in a dark closet with her, and had his arms around her! She could scream of joy, she could dance, she could- she _wished_ she could kiss him!

"I think it's them" Remus said.

The shrieking became fainter, until it was gone. Remus opened the door a bit to peer though the gap.

"They're gone" he muttered. "that was close"

"_Very _close" Hermione fanned herself, grinning stupidly.

"You said something?" Lupin turned to her.

"Huh?" she turned dreamingly at him

"Never mind" said Lupin, fully opening the door "We have to go, come on" he took her hand.

Hermione felt she weakened, her heart not bearing so much joy at once. She felt as if she'd faint any moment, until she realized it was being caused by a snake that was curling around Hermione's neck, squeezing hard as it strangled her.

Hermione choked, trying to call out to Remus. She pulled on his shirt, calling his attention.

Remus turned around, eyes went wide as he saw the snake around her neck. He quickly shot a jinx at the snake, and it hissed furiously, as it slither off Hermione and away, out of sight.

Hermione took in a big breath to fill up her empty lungs, and panted _**(haha, pants! again! haha)**_.

"Are you okay?" Remus looked genuinely worried.

Hermione nodded, breathing in deeply. Remus flicked back Hermione's hair and inspected her neck. Hermione's heart skipped a beat; Was he going to bite her? _Go right ahead, I'm ready! **(She's so stupid! He's no vampire, duh)**_

"Seems okay" said Remus, touching her neck "Does it hurt?"

"N-no" said Hermione, thanking the heavens that there was a spell that concealed her blushing.

"Must've been a snake of the forest" said Remus "It might've snuck in with the Stickpeople. Well, come on, before it's too late"

XX

Sirius had finally woke up completely, and was dressing, along with Lee, when he noticed something about her.

"Hey..." he said slowly, and pointing something on her "Those are _my_ boxers!"

"Really?" Lee frowned, looking at the label in which had been marked the name of the owner "I thought they were Moony's."

Sirius took hold of the label "See this?" he said "It says _Sirius Black_, not _Wolf-boy_, but _Sirius._ S-I-R-I-U-S"

"That's not how you spell it" said Lee

"Don't start with the name pun-"

"-It's spelled I-D-I-O-T"

Sirius splashed her with the remaining of the water in the jar.

"Hey!" Lee crouched, and-

"Agh!"

She jumped him, throwing him off-balance, both falling on the floor. They started to wrestle, as Lee tried to take Sirius's wand away.

"What, is Kitty afraid of water?" laughed Sirius, as Lee growled every time he moved the wand away from her. Lee sat on him and started to strangle him, but didn't really mean it.

"I'm gonna kill you, Sirius Black!"

"Hey, hold on! You're ripping my shirt!"

The door opened, revealing a wide-eyed Hermione.

They turned their heads her way.

"Do you mind?" snapped Lee at her.

"Yeah, ever heard of knocking?" barked Sirius.

Hermione shut the door right away, and the two Marauders _(Yes, Lee King is a Marauder. So shut yer trap and keep reading! I mean it! I'll send the Stickpeople after you! growl, bark-bark! **Wow, that was a Padfoot moment, heh**)_ continued their little fight.

Of course, our little know-it-all, won't-admit-she's-wrong braniac thinks that they were doing _something_, when they were just fighting. And now, she had another reason to hate Lee King for doing _something_ with Sirius when she's supposedly Remus's girlfriend.

"Ohh, I have to wash my mind" she hit her forehead with her hand, cursing her imagination.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" asked Ron, as he, Harry, and Professor Lupin came into the office.

"N-nothing, just trying to be wide awake" lied Hermione.

"Ever heard of coffee?" Harry quirked an eyebrow.

"Of course I have!" Hermione said right away "I was just-...just trying a new method that doesn't require caffeine."

"Potter was Right, Granger was Wrong" Ron muttered.

Harry snorted.

"Ronald!" scowled Hermione.

"Ok, let's go now." Lee had come out of the room, along with Sirius, now dressed. "We're going Stickpeople Hunting"

"Never thought I'd live to see that" said Sirius

"So, where're we going first?" asked Harry

"To where they live" answered Lee "The Forbidden Forest..."

There was a dramatic silence, broken by some phone ringing, and Sirius's laugh. They didn't pay attention to the ringing phone, but to Sirius.

"Sorry," he said when they all turned to him "It just brings so many good and fun memories"

"Oh, yeah." Lee and Remus grinned sheepishly, also remembering their good times.

**A/N:**

**Okay, so how was this chapter? PLEASE REVIEW! It's a short 5-chapter fanfic! no wait...a 6 but that's all. Please review! Or else I won't post anymore! and this is one of the VERY FEW fanfics I manage to FINISH at all. PLEASE REVIEW! **

**Happy Holidays!**


	5. The Meeting

**A/N: I'm sorry I took so long.  
You know how I said I'd make this story 5 chapters, maybe 6 long? It has become a 7 chapter story now, and I have it all planned out.  
I hope you enjoy this chapter (it had to be renamed and rewritten) and I really hope it was worth the wait.  
Ok, if any of you recognize the horror-movie references I make in this chapter (the beginning of the chapter, actually) please speak up! Guess what horror movies I poked  
Disclaimer: I don't own HP, can someone donate them to me?**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 5:**

**The Meeting**

Haha! I see you have no life and decided to stick around...alright, I shall give you more...since my parole officer won't be here until 3pm I guess I have enough time to tell you more about the Stickpeople and their new enemies...

Bad news is, the ignored ringing phone of the previous chapter was unfortunately answered by Cody Branagh.

"Hello" Cody Branagh said brightly into the phone.

-"_Hello...is this Cody Branagh?"_ said a croaking voice.

"Yes" answered Cody.

-"_Seven days..."_

"...Excuse me?" Cody frowned.

-"_Oh wait...no...you didn't watch an evil videotape, did you?"_

"Not that I know of" Cody replied, slightly confused.

-"_Oh...well, are you making popcorn?"_

"No"

-"_Well, what evil happened to you?"_

"I was attacked by the Stickpeople...and I'm going home pretty soon" Cody smiled big.

_-"Oh...In that case...**You shall be attacked**_..." the voice had suddenly turned to a creepy tone.

"A-attacked?" chocked Cody, his smile vanishing.

-"_Yes...attacked..._"

"W-when?" Cody asked, shifting uncomfortably "How- How do you know this? Who are you?!"

-"_You shall be attacked at...what time is it right now?"_

Cody glanced at his wrist watch, "8: 29PM"

_-"8: 29pm?"_

"8: 29pm" Cody assured.

-"_Okay...You shall be attacked at exactly 8: 30pm tonight..."_

Cody trembled, "Who are you?" he demanded "How do you know this? Why is there a telephone booth in the middle of the Transfiguration Hall? Where's my blankie? Did you steal it?!"

-"_You shall be attacked at exactly 8: 30pm tonight"_ The eerie voice repeated.

"No seriously how do you know this" asked Cody "Are you psychic or something? Did you use magic powers to select the time and date-"

_-"Just- shut up! Okay? You'll be attacked, and that's that. Good-bye_" the stranger hung up.

"Strange bloke" Cody muttered to himself, hanging up the phone. He started walking away, and stopped, thinking. Could that person be right, or just crazy? Out of curiosity, Cody looked at his wristwatch, and blinked. **8: 30pm**

Just then, a high pitched shriek came from down the hall, making Cody glance up and squint. His eyes popped. _Stickpeople_. Cody stared at the foul creatures, their foul creepy skinny little 2-dimensional bodies, their murderous happy faces, and their long spears made of drawn-out pencil lines. They charged at him, and they charged at him fast, shrieking at the top of their not-drawn lungs, shrieking an atrocious battle cry.

Cody let out his own cry; a cry of fear, a scream of shock. He tried to run, but it was too late..._The Stickpeople had attacked once again ..._

ON TO A HAPPIER TONE...Our Heroes were waiting by the Entrance Hall, getting ready to go out to the Dark Forest. Actually they were having some nachos, because they were hungry, and were also waiting for Hermione.

At last, Hermione came down, fumbling with a black bag and its contents.

"What do you have there, Hermione?" Harry asked.

"This," Hermione took a black object from the bag "is my video camera"

"What's it do?" Asked Ron, licking cheese off his finger.

"It's like a camera, Ron" she answered "except it includes sound...I'm going to bring it along, and film everything...then finally you will all see I am right and there is no such thing as Stickpeople" she announced proudly.

Harry and Ron rolled their eyes, finishing the last of their nachos.

"It's time to leave" Lee said, getting up and fixing her robes.

"Wait, I'm not done yet" said Sirius.

"Sirius, you'd be done by now," said Remus "if it wasn't for the fact you refilled your plate 4 times!"

"I need food" Sirius complained in a whiny cute voice resembling that of a four-year-old.

"Nachos aren't exactly food" Harry put in.

"May I remind you that I once had to live off rats for you" Sirius replied, licking the last of the cheese in a very canine manner.

"I didn't ask you to live off rats for me" said Harry cheekily.

"You did _not_ just say that, you ungrateful little-" Sirius suddenly got up, pulling out his wand. Harry ran off, Sirius hot on his heels, shooting jinxes at his godson.

"Hahahah, you will NEVER catch me!" Harry laughed as he ran "Run run, as fast as you can! You can't catch me, I'm the Boy Who Lived!"

"Sirius, leave Harry alone" Lee said, running after Sirius, unable to keep a straight face. Ron stayed put, watching them with mild amusement.

Meanwhile, Hermione had her eye and her camera on Remus, as he made sure his wand was working perfectly.

"Professor Lupin" she said, "What do you expect to find in the Forbidden Forest?" she asked in a stuck-up sort of voice, trying to imitate a reporter.

"Stickpeople, of course" he answered.

"Oh?" her heart beat fast as she thought up the next line. "Professor Lupin, are you ready to admit you were wrong when I find that these "Stickpeople" are no more than a figment of Luna Lovegood's imagination?"

He looked up, giving a weird sort of smile that just made her heart melt and take in a sharp breath "I am ready, but only if _you_ are ready to admit you are wrong when I find that Ms. Lovegood's imagination did not invent the Stickpeople, and therefore Stickpeople are real"

"Rem, get up we're leaving now" Lee was heading out the door, having calmed Sirius and Harry now.

"Time to go" Remus said to the camera, before getting up and following Lee.

Hermione was still standing there, filming her beloved Professor's nice backside walking away. At this point, she was smiling, desire mildly burning inside her, and for the first time in her life, she wished she was wrong, just so he could have the chance to tease her...It was the most odd feeling she had ever felt.

"We're going out to the forest, let's sing a Forest Song!"

"A Forest Song?"

"Yeah" Sirius replied "You know like a song that describes what we're doing and where we're going"

"You mean the Forbidden Forest Song?" Lee suddenly said.

"Hmm Forbidden Forest Song" Lupin mused.

"That was so much fun" Sirius smiled at the memory, "How did it go?"

Lupin chuckled, looking over to his friend, "You invented that song, Padfoot, and you can't remember how it goes?"

Sirius shrugged off, "I was drunk when I invented it"

"I remember that" Lee said "James and you started to sing at the top of your lungs, we had to literally kick you to the ground to shut you up so you two wouldn't get us caught"

"How did it go?" Harry asked, interested in the Marauder's past.

"Not so well" Remus said "Professor Sinistra spotted us with her telescope. She leglocked us all and left us there 'til dawn"

"I mean how does the song go?" Harry said, unable to hide his smile at the scenario built in his mind.

"Oh, Forbidden Forest,

Oh, Forbidden Forest,

The Perfect Hiding Place!" started to sing Lee,

"Can you please tell,

Oh will you please tell,

Tell stubborn Prongs that

Lily is not interested in James!"

"Not one of my best lyrics" Sirius shrugged, mildly frowning.

"You were _drunk_" Lee said, laughing "I was amazed you could do any coherent sounds at all"

"I do remember that the 4th verse talked something about Snape's pants..." Remus mused.

"What were you doing in the Forbidden Forest anyway?" asked Ron.

"Hanging out" said Lee "Until James got drunk enough to try to go all Matador on a Unicorn"

"How did that end?" Ron asked curiously.

"After that night, his ass was never the same..."

"Can you people in the front stop talking about people's rear?" Hermione called out, holding the camera as she filmed the group.

Sirius didn't pay attention to her, but looked at their surroundings with narrowed eyes. "This bit of the forest seems familiar"

"Well, all the trees look the same." said Ron "I wouldn't doubt we've been walking in circles"

"That's impossible" said Lee.

"Yes, very unlikely" Sirius said offhandedly, studying the trees.

"Why's that?" Harry asked.

"Because we have a very sophisticated, magical and intriguing method of pinpointing our location in this forest" answered Lee.

"Ooh, and what's your method?" Hermione asked, clearly interested in knowing.

"Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs' Super-Durable and Freakishly Long Glowing Yarn!" Sirius flashed the neon red string of yarn he had been dragging with them and which clearly nobody had noticed he had it before. "We tied one end of it to Hagrid's door, and that way we know our way back to the castle"

"Yarn?" Hermione asked this as if questioning his sanity, "You're marking our trail with a ball of yarn? What if it runs out?"

"It's freakishly long, Hermione" Sirius answered.

"But what if it's not long enough?" she asked.

"Who cares, 'Mione" said Ron "it's Glowing Yarn. You can't argue with Glowing Yarn"

"I just think we should use a more reliable method or object to help us out" Hermione mumbled, lowering her camera. She turned to the person next to her, "What if we use a tracking spell? I know a very efficient Hansel & Gretel Spell, it's far more accurate."

"Trust me Hermione," Said Remus "This is the only method Sirius and Lee can work without repeating the events of March 12th..."

Immediately, Sirius's eye started twitching, and Lee stopped walking, suddenly shivering.

"Don't mention the 'M' word" Lee whispered fearfully.

"What happened on...you-know-when, Professor?" Hermione asked, pointing the camera at Remus.

"Story for another day, Hermione" Remus waved away, walking a bit faster to catch up to Lee and Sirius.

Hermione fell behind, sighing dreamily, a blissful smile and a glazed look in her eyes. Hearing Lupin speak was so amazing to her. It was like Lupin gave "Hermione" a whole new _beautiful_ meaning **(can we say obsessed? can we say addicted? can we say pudding? Yes we can! Because I'm the author and I say it's alright to say pudding! hahahah)**.

They walked in silence as they moved deeper into the forest, looking at their surroundings with little interest. Nothing was so different nor interesting, until they reached a clearing.

"Look" Harry pointed at the clearing, "Doesn't it look..."

"Beautiful?" Hermione offered, moving closer.

"The grass is so..." Ron started.

"Green" Sirius offered.

"Yeah" the others sighed smiling, enchanted by the unique lustrous grass. It looked so welcoming, so fresh and soft.

"Maybe we should...rest for a bit" Lee suggested, gazing at the inviting clearing.

"Yeah" the others agreed, walking toward the clearing like zombies to the living, like mosquitoes attracted by the bright light.

Unfortunately, like mosquitoes, they were flying (or rather walking) to the bright light of doom. They sat, others lay, down on the lush grass, blissful smiles exchanged. But then, it happened...

The green grass turned brown and net-like. They heard a sudden "snap" and, before they could ask what happened, the gang found itself trapped in a great rope net, hanging from the nearest tree. Unfortunately, it wasn't as big as they'd like.

"Agh- We're all squished together!"

"Sirius!" Lee growled, "get your hand off there!"

"It's not me and it's not my hand!" Sirius snapped, blowing brown bushy hair off his face in an attempt of seeing Lee's face. Yet, his ears told him enough: A gasp from Lee, a slap against skin, and Ron's voice expressing pain.

"Harry, your elbow is crushing my throat" Remus's voice could be heard from under them all.

"Hermione" Sirius grunted "could you do something about your hair? It's a Hair-dresser's Nightmare, and apparently the death of me"

Hermione scowled, Sirius unable to see this because her head rested on his shoulder. "Even if I could move, I wouldn't, just to teach you a lesson. And you should talk, _your_ hair looked horrible when you escaped" she told him.

"Hey, I was in prison, therefore it's acceptable, because, you see, **_I_** didn't have shampoo, but what's _your_ excuse?"

"Well at least it's my natural hair!" Hermione backfired.

"Are you implying mine isn't?" Sirius said, "What about yours, are you _sure_ that's hair?"

"Would you idiots stop talking about hair," Lee shouted "and try to help the present situation!"

"Best...idea...yet..." Remus coughed, Harry having finally removed his arm and crawled gingerly away from them.

"Bother, my camcorder is stuck" Hermione grumbled, tugging at her video camera which was tangled up with the net, and in the web of this, her bracelet was also attached.

"Something's out there" Ron said in a whimper sort-of voice, pointing at the trees.

Sirius flipped Hermione over and sat up as best as he could, and studied the spot Ron pointed at. Lee and Remus seemed to stop breathing as so to identify whatever was "out there" as either dangerous or harmless. Meanwhile, Hermione lay between Sirius and the wall of net, her arm in a very odd position that made her wonder whether all human being could contort their arm like this or this was a new-found ability.

Suddenly, three men, clad in green, came out of the shadows of the forest, armed with bows and full quivers.

"Elves" Lee gasped.

"Not good" Sirius quickly helped Hermione up and tried his best to hide behind her, who was perplexed at his behavior.

"Why's he hiding?" Ron asked in a whisper.

"He's too popular with the Elf girls around here" answered Lee.

"And too unpopular with the Elf men" Remus added.

"Who are you to trespass these lands?" one man (or rather, elf) demanded.

"Just the Honorable Marauders" Lee replied in a happy tone. "Minus two...one being not important" she added with a low growl, chorused by Remus.

"And friends" Harry added hastily, as he and Ron stared intently at their weapons.

"Yeah, just some friends" Sirius said behind Hermione.

"Is that Black?" one hooded figure made way towards them, lowering its hood, revealing a brunette head with bright hazel eyes. "Where is he?" the young woman asked.

"Lyra, is that you?" Sirius harshly pushed Hermione away at once and got closer to the net wall.

The elf smiled broadly, overjoyed "I've been longing for-"

"Lady," who seemed to be the captain of this small sentinel said "the King wants to see the intruders as soon as possible"

"Oh for all in Heaven" she grumbled "I never get my way...Very well, carry them off to my father" she rolled her eyes.

"Oy, Lyra" Sirius said nervously as the net-cell started to shake, and then float towards a trail. "You won't let him do anything to us, right?"

"Of course not" she said, "I would not let Father hurt not even a hair off your head," she batted her long eyelashes, manifesting her liking for him.

Sirius smirked arrogantly, and prepared to say something, but Lee elbowed him hard, allowing Remus to talk next. "I'm sure you'll extend that guarantee to all of us, right?"

"Yes, Honorable Marauders are under our protection" she winked.

"That's good news" Lee commented.

"I'm completely and hopelessly lost" Ron spoke up.

"You and I both" Harry patted Ron's shoulder, "you and I both..."

"Where are they taking us?" Hermione asked, sitting up and pointing her camcorder at the elves walking beside and in front of the floating net.

"To their city" Remus answered her, "Deep in the woods..."

"This is where the Marauders used to party all night" Sirius added.

"So many good memories" Lee sighed, an odd smile on her face.

"Yeah" the other two marauders sighed, giving a same weird smile.

"Too much information" Harry moaned, falling backwards and accidentally hitting his head with Lee's foot.

Deeper and deeper into the woods, they began to catch sight of people, or rather _elves_. They could also notice that most of the girls they encountered stared, giggled and talked excitedly amongst themselves once they spotted Sirius. Most men gave odd reproachful looks, some starting to count their arrows and inspecting the sharpness of their swords. Elf girls edged away from their doings and followed the escort of soldiers, pointing the new arrivals to each other, talking in their romantic language.

Harry looked around at his companions; most were looking at the Elves, like Hermione was filming as much as possible, Lee would look at each tree, as if trying to memorize- or remember- the trail, Sirius waved occasionally at their followers, Ron eyed the girls as never before, and yet...the most strange thing was...Remus seemed to be searching the small crowd...For a moment there, Harry thought he saw sadness in the Professor's eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. As odd as he found this behavior, he'd find it even more strange to see his Godfather being followed by a fan club when they'd get to their destination.

They were sent to the Council House, which was a large cave set behind curtains of ivy. The cave didn't stick out, for it was an underground one, having stone steps going down to a greatly illuminated chamber with a crescent moon table taking a third of the cave, leaving the remaining space for them, their escort and, their followers who hadn't hesitated to come inside, even if one man had told them off.

At the table, only one man was present. Serious-looking and blue-eyed, with light brown hair and airs of authority. He stood up when they arrived, the beautiful brunette who had found them joined him at the table, handing her cloak to one of the men standing guard.

They were removed from the net as it suddenly flew open, dumping them all on the floor in the middle of the room. It took a few minutes before the gang got up and stood presentable. As Harry dusted off his robes, an enthusiastic comment was heard from the crowd of girls. "James, yes Potter. Ah James has shrunk" accompanied by giggles.

"Silence, all!"

The chatter ceased at once.

"You have been brought before the council-"

"It's their off day," the youthful brunette quickly put in "They're rather a merry lot"

"Today," her father continued, giving her an odd look before returning to them. "You stand before two members of the Council, my daughter, Princess Lyra and myself"

"Welcome" the Princess offered in a friendly tone.

"You've been apprehended for trespassing sacred grounds, disturbing the peace, and bringing back unpleasant memories"

"Father, let's not bring up the past?" Lyra said.

"By all means, bring up the past" Sirius spoke up, "I have no regrets"

Girls giggled quietly, Lee was staring at the roof of the cave while Lyra looked rather interested in the detail of her sleeves as she had it up to her face, trying to hide a grin.

"Have you no shame?" the King asked, bending forward in a threatening manner.

"Actually, I d-" Lee and Remus had lunged forward and proceeded to cover his mouth, offering apologizing smiles.

"Your majesty, we mean no harm" Lee began gently. "We are on a mission and it's crucial we complete it."

"Oh, a mission" Lyra sounded delighted.

The king, on the other hand, studied them carefully. "What sort of mission?"

"We're after a powerful enemy we must eliminate as soon as we can" Remus explained.

"Father, we should offer our help," Lyra told him quietly "after all, they have been quite...friendly allies. It is our duty to help our friends."

"We have no duty toward wizards, Lyra" Her father replied.

"Perhaps not." Lyra placated "It would be a good deed to aid them, though"

"Perhaps" he sighed, turning back to the odd group "In what way can we assist you?"

"You could help us by telling us the location of the Stickpeople" said Lee.

The room fell quiet. Harry could see the audience exchange worried looks.

"Or perhaps I'm wrong" Lyra drawled, casually looking down at the table.

"And by that I suppose you mean they don't exist" Hermione put in, pushing the zoom button on her camera, focusing on the dreary look of Lyra's face.

"No" the King replied. "Their existence is concrete, they are naught but a foul tribe of treacherous creatures."

"You can't be serious!" Hermione yelped, stopping her filming and letting the camera hang around her neck by the safety cord.

"Of course he's not" Sirius quickly made a point to say "I'm Sirius, he's His Highness"

"And you're not very far away from the ranks of royalty" Lyra muttered with a wicked grin, crossing her arms. Upon seeing the look on her father's face, she added hastily "He's pureblood, father, that's all"

"Back to what once had been the subject of the Stickpeople" Remus sighed, trying to take them all back to their original conversation. "It's rather important and urgent we find them"

The King's answer took them by surprise. "You're on your own"

"You mean you won't help us?" Ron blurted out.

"I'm sure that is not what he meant" Lyra said in an apologizing manner, before turning to the Elf King "Right?"

"I mean what I say, and I say what I mean" he retorted. "I will not risk my people for the sake of ill-mannered strangers."

"These strangers are my friends!" said Lyra hotly.

"It matters not" he snapped, "I will not risk any of my men to help the ignorant wizards in their foolish quest!"

"Oh, but you would marry me off to the first deer-headed fool that told you were a fine king?" she argued back.

"If that deer-headed fool were a hard worker and a good military man!"

"Umm, we just need directions" Harry spoke up shyly, wondering if he'd regret interrupting their feud. Fortunately, they didn't yell at him, but merely regarded him coolly, as they composed themselves and turned back to the company.

"There is a road" the King spoke softly; quite a dramatic change from the shouting he had done. "Marked by roses. It leads to the Spring of Life. From the marked stone, you must follow the stream downhill. It will take you to their territory"

"But you must be careful" Lyra added. "Their leader is vicious, and impossible to read. You must tread carefully around them."

"Ah." Sirius gave a nod. "Well, it seems we need to spend the night, as we don't want to walk around in the middle of the night, bumping into dangerous things" he drifted off, giving a meaningful look at the Princess.

"We should have a celebration" Lyra said "A Farewell Party!"

"Excellent idea!" Sirius agreed.

The King studied the idea in his head. Well, whatever got them out of his realm, right? "Tonight we celebrate, tomorrow you leave, at dawn"

"That seems okay with us" Sirius shrugged.

"Speak for yourself" Remus grunted.

"Lighten up" Lee elbowed him.

"To the party, my dear friends!" Lee tripped Sirius, having found it annoying he wanted to take the lead.

And so, our beloved gang partied all night (or until they passed out) and as promised, left early in the morning (crack of dawn, to Ron and Harry's dismay), waving good-bye to their newfound friends, to their newfound rivals, to their only indoor plumbing system within miles...

"_Ron, I told you to go before we left the city!"_

"_Shut up, Hermione. I can go whenever I want, wherever I want!" _

"_Um Hermione, I don't think that beating him with a camera is going to help the situation"_

"_Shut up, Harry!"_

"_And the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single pit stop"_

"_Sirius you're not funny!" _

Those not involved in the argument and those not amused by the situation sighed and prayed they'd get out of this with their sanity intact. Of course, we know Remus Lupin has no sanity when the moon is full; nevertheless, he wished to keep the little sanity he had left. As for Lee King, she had given up hope that one day her sanity would return to her.

Alas, what lies down the road is nothing but insanity of the fangirl kind. And French fries. But don't ask about the french fries.

I must take my leave, for I've exhausted my voice (yes I know I'm typing, but I'm singing along the techno music. Yes, I'm aware I don't have a singing voice, but that's what makes it such a great hobby. I can torture anyone by just singing! I'm a true siren! Hurray!) and now, I must rest.

Until we meet again.

...Or until Ron has to make another pit stop...

* * *

**A/N: Please review. If you're reading this story and thinking it's stupid but so-so, review anyway! Review anonymously if you want, type "the dork who read the story" as your name, I don't care, as long as you review.  
Thanks for reading, PLEASE REVIEW!**


End file.
